In the beginning our journey as a family consisted of 3 people, Al, Maddy and me. Maddy had the privilege of being “the only child” all attention on her.
Then came Michael, one winter day I was home taking care of Al as he had just had neck decompression surgery I went to the pharmacy to pick up his medications. While I was there it dawned on me that I had not had my cycle yet that month. This was nothing really unusual as I had not had a “normal” cycle since my gastric bypass surgery. I went to the isle and picked up a test. I of course picked up the least expensive as ALL the previous tests had come back negative. I was truly not anticipating anything different this time.
When I got home I gave Al his medications, went to the restroom and did the deed {I peed on the stick}. Setting it aside I got sidetracked taking care of Al and proceeded to start moving furniture from the basement to the upstairs. The day went on and it was time to help Al into the shower. It was at that moment I glanced over and found the test I had forgotten all about. “Oh My God!!!” I yelled out “It is Positive”. Needless to say I had to go to the drug store and buy 2 more tests to convince myself and Al that this was a reality.
Then there were two..
Maddy went from only child to “sister” with one pee. We were not expecting this to happen {into our 6th year of marriage} in fact we were already planning on what we were going to do after Maddy was done with high school, now we had to figure out how to tell our “only child” that she now had to share us. Not only that but the age gap, how do you raise 2 kids with 10 years between them to be close?
We started in the delivery room. Maddy got to see the show up front and center, and in the end she became “the big sister”.
Over the last 4 years Maddy has done well and I think that the age gap actually helped in the respect that we do not have the sibling rivalry although, now that Maddy is a teenager she does get quite annoyed at her 4 year old brother’s antics at times.
Their relationship is a work in progress. It is difficult for Maddy at times. Just like it is hard for us she has a hard time accepting and dealing with the behaviors Michael displays. He wants her constant attention and as a parent we want her to but the reality of it is that she is a teenager and Michael is 4.
We can not predict the future, we can not make them “friends” but we can be patient, sit back and watch their relationship grow into what ever it ends up being.
Regardless they are ours we love them both the same.
Do you have children with large gaps in age? How has it turned out for you? What do you do to keep them close?
