{Precious Gifts, Our Year in Review}

This year has been a year for the record books.
I will start with Al. My husband {my Rickey Ricardo} is the most amazing man on earth; he due to no fault of his own spent a year and a half looking for work all the while enjoying being a stay at home daddy after he lost his job of 8 years due to the economy. This year in May he found a job! Not just any job the lucky man found a job that he loves and they value his hard work, his opinion and his extreme work ethic.
{To my man, I love you, appreciate you, respect you, and am the luckiest woman in the world to have you as my life long partner. I love being your Lucy although; sometimes we are more like Gomez & Morticia from the Adams Family. You are my forever love.}

Our beautiful daughter Maddy chose to go to a different high school than all of her other friends because she felt it would benefit her future career and college education. This year she has grown up so much. She has maintained excellent grades in this her first year of {big kid} high school. She has maintained her extra curricular activities with her piano and voice lessons; as well she has taken on a new interest and is now on a swim team. She has developed such good communication skills, and we as a family unit have been blessed with the ability to talk about {ALL} subjects not matter how big or small, no matter how easy or difficult.
{ To Maddy, you are gifted through and through, your heart is beautiful and I love that you love yourself enough to do what is best for you. I also love that although you will be 15 soon, you trust your dad and I to talk about your life {the behind the scenes version} and the challenges that you face. You, our sweetness are the best daughter we could have ever hoped for.}

Our Michael Turned 4 this year. He started the year with only 1 word, “Owie”. Now he can say, Owie, No, Yes, Hair, Toe, Arm, MOM, DAD, Hand, Rope, Coke, Pop, Ice, Eyes, Nose, Wet, Light, Car, It Hurts.. I am sure I am missing a couple as it seems lately these days they just pop up out of no where. They are fighting to get out and they do{ like little word burps}. He is in his second year of preschool and he loves it {especially circle time they do yoga} He loves to come home and show us his new stretches. He has also become quite the performer, constantly going around the house singing songs {not all words known} and he usually ends each song with big, arms up in the air finish {like tahdah}.
He loves arts and crafts {and I love receiving them}.
{To Michael, you my son have achieved so much this year, I love that more and more we are gaining the ability to talk to you and have you talk back to us. Hearing you say Mom is the best gift you could have given me this year as I have waited 4 years to hear it. That my son is huge and something that the doctors said would probably not ever happen. You are going to grow a lot this year I know you are. I can’t wait to see where you will be this time next year}

We have also gained new family this year, Clifton, Carrie, Blaec, Baylee, Cj, Liam, and Reagan. We love them so much and the love they have for us and Michael is not a mystery. We have truly been blessed to have them in our lives.

{Farr's you were a gift to us when we needed you the most. We are thankful every day for you and your love that you give. We love the people you are and the people you are raising your kids to be. We look forward to many more years of memories with you}

{2010 has been a year for the record books, and much more is headed our way, I can’t wait to see what’s next}

{Shop if you Dare}

I love this time of year and especially love my favorite sport {or at least I think it should be} shopping but since we have had Michael it is more like being in the Iron Man race{not my idea of fun}.

Yesterday Michael and I were home and all of a sudden he sees a commercial for the mall, he started frantically saying “DRIVE” and doing the sign for it. I asked him “you want to drive?” he said “yes” then points to the commercial. I say “you want to go shopping?” he said in a sweet soft voice “yes”. I knew at that point I was facing a huge decision.

Michael along with the other myriad of things going on has sensory issues. Imagine yourself standing in the middle of the freeway during rush hour. It would be scary and quite overwhelming.

Knowing this about him and the “consequences” it could bring I tried to divert him to another subject, I say “do you want to color?” Mike says “NO!” not just a little no but a big NO. It is at this point I would give in and go or face an afternoon of “drive, drive, drive, drive, drive.”

So the process starts…
I have mastered getting ready start to finish shower, makeup, hair, all of it in 30 minutes or less {another sport in my opinion}
All the while Michael is saying “drive” and with his new found use of putting two words together {PERFECT MOMENTS}, he was saying “mom drive”. This I did not mind as it is a new milestone for him to put words together.
I finally got done with the marathon of getting ready, got him dressed, in the car and thought I might be able to just get away with driving not actually going in anywhere.

{Someone had other plans}

Wouldn’t you know being the genius that I am rather than choosing one of the thousands of rural routs I could have pleasantly driven as we live in beautiful Oregon, I choose to drive downtown. {Uggggg}.
Needless to say Michael saw the mall and the parking garage {he has an extreme fascination for parking garages} and the sign for “want” started rapidly happening from the backseat along with “ahh,ahh,ahh”.

My heart sunk down into the pit of my stomach. I was scared really if you want total honesty. Usually when we go into large public places Michael becomes very excited, and screaming is not out of the ordinary. {Picture the movie Rainman when Raymond and Charlie are in the bathroom running the water and Raymond freaks out over the hot water and Charlie has to calm him down} Yep that’s me and Mike. Along with the many {if looks could kill} stares I get from other adults.
I suffer from anxiety so when this starts to happen not only is Michael standing in the middle of a freeway during rush hour but I myself feel like I have joined him there.

So all of these past experiences are going through my mind as I’m driving and listening to “ahh,ahh,ahh” {scream} ahh,ahh{Mike starts biting his hands}. I decide at that moment to just go, I have things to get so we will just go in.

I didn't know it but I was about to be very surprised, first it took us like 10 minutes to get parking {how on a weekday in the middle of the afternoon I do not know} he held it together the WHOLE time!, we parked, and then walked into the sky bridge, I give Michael some loose change out of my purse and he happily put it into the Salvation Army bucket, the bell ringer thanked Mike, he did the sign for "your welcome"and we headed in. {I’m telling myself deep breaths Sharlene}.

Michael sees the elevator, I hear him say, “up” so, we went down as we were already up. I actually got the things I needed in the first store. We managed to have only one outburst {along with an adult death look}and one hand bite. I ask Michael “do you want to drive?” thinking he has had his fill of shopping, he says “NO” I then say “OK do you want to shop more?” “Yes” he says. {OK Lord this ones on you now I am working on borrowed time here}. So we move onto the next place, we ended up going to TWO more places, I got sushi and I even got to stop by the jeweler and get my wedding ring cleaned. {Blessings from above a perfect moment}.

I was soo pleased with his behavior, he was a different kid.

I realized then that it isn’t always going to be like standing in the middle of the freeway during rush hour. Over time it is going to be more like standing on the freeway but with only a couple cars driving by.
He will learn to get out of the way of traffic and learn to start directing the traffic himself

{in his mind}

{PERFECT MOMENTS!!!}

Today started off VERY early, earlier than usual… FIVE am!
Usually, this is the sign of a rough day ahead. But, something is different today.
Things are calm and sweet.
Should I consider this the “calm before the storm”?

Michael is cozy on his big, huge pillow with his blankie that grandma made him on the living room floor. Al is wrapped in a blanket on the couch, an old movie with a very young Mickey Rooney is on TCM, and coffee is being enjoyed.

I love that THIS morning, our son is being very sweet as he grabs me around my shoulders, pulls me close to him to give him kisses.
I love that his giggle is so loud when; instead of a kiss I pucker my lips together and blow making a duck like noise against his lips, he rolls back giggling saying “mouth” as he points to his mouth. Music to my ears.

I LOVE THESE MOMENTS!

Then it happens! Another wonderful moment…Michael says “mom” while doing the sign for mom, then follows with the word “light” pointing to his dark bedroom, I say to him “You want your light on?” he says, “Yes”. Having a short attention span as any 4 year old does he then says “ooon”{balloon} as he is holding his balloon left from his Birthday and then points and says “teee{tree}” pointing to the Christmas tree…I say to him,” you want the balloon on the tree?” He says, “Yes” {followed with a huge smile}.
I then realize he is starting to put his words TOGETHER!

Our little man is starting to make word connections, to use them in tiny sentences!!!

It is moments like these that some times I finally get it. I call them my “ah ha” moments {I know, original} but, mine all the same. The very moment I realize I spend so much time and energy wondering what or when things are going to go to hell, rather than thanking the good Lord above for THIS moment, THESE moments.

MOMENTS OF PERFECTION!!!

If you truly think about it our lives are full of these perfect moments. The moment you pull into the grocery store parking lot and pull right into a parking space in front. The moment you hit all green lights going from one end of town to the other. The moment you are headed to the check out and there is a lane wide open with no one in front of you. The moment you give birth. The moment you meet your mate. The moment you step on the scale and are happy with what you see..many many moments of perfection..no matter how big or small they should all be looked at the same…PERFECT MOMENTS.

Will I sit and worry that it is all going to go to hell in about an hour? NO! I am going to choose to embrace these moments.
A series of perfect moments in the early hours of this morning.

Not to be taken for granted or discredited with worry of “what’s next”, but rather accepted for what they are…………

{PERFECT MOMENTS RIGHT NOW}

{The Rollercoaster}

We have all been there at one time or another, on a roller coaster as we are pulled up the chain driven track of the very first hill and over the intercom we hear.
“Ladies and Gentlemen please stay seated and keep all hands and arms inside the ride at all times until it comes to a complete stop.”

We reach the top and excitedly we put our hands up, take a deep breath and prepare for the exciting ride that lies ahead.
As a mother with a child who has many autistic behaviors life is like riding a rollercoaster. Exciting and scary all rolled into one.
The other night we ventured out to wish our extended family a safe journey as they were moving away, we didn’t even get into the door before Michael was clinging onto his daddy like we were going to box him up and send him on the moving truck with them.
Like a roller coaster that you have never been on before you never know which way it’s going to turn. One minute you are holding your hands up in the air smiling, screaming out of excitement, enjoying the ride, and the very next minute sometimes very next second you are hitting a sharp turn on the track you didn’t expect and scared beyond words.
We try to keep things predictable “the same” we have our daily routines.We hit the floor running when we hear “HELP! WET!” knowing that our precious has decided to wake up and has soaked through his jammies and bedding in the night, we have our medicine routine and let me tell you we hate that part it’s always a fight. Then we have play time that usually only lasts for about an hour before we start going into the first scary downhill drop on the roller coaster ride we call our day. After that we have to lay him down bottle in hand and put up a sign “ride closed for repair” as our morning nap is needed.

Running errands is NOT an option, not unless I want to be so emotionally exhausted by the end that I have nothing left to give. Christmas this year at Grandma’s is not going to happen as Michael is so terrified of the dog that he screams when he even sees the street she lives on.We want to be able to go Christmas shopping together but we can’t because it is all way to much for little Michael so I resort to online shopping otherwise the car de-rails and it takes days to repair the ride.
Needless to say just like a rollercoaster just as soon as you hit a hard left or right, you have a calm moment even still you are anticipating the next sudden drop or hard left.
Don’t get me wrong, the rollercoaster isn’t always a scary thing. It also can be so utterly exciting.
For example, when we are driving around at night during the holiday season and all of a sudden you hear from the back seat in the most excited tone ever imaginable, not to mention a word!, an actual word we never thought we would hear come out of Michael’s mouth, “LIGHT!!!!!” So loud and so full of excitement you jump. Or, a commercial comes on for a toy and you hear “WHAT’S THAT? WHAT’S THAT?” with his little hands rapidly doing the sign for “WANT” indicating that he wants the item for Christmas.

In those moments you can see and hear the excitement so much that it takes over and you yourself become just as excited about the light or the toy as he does. You become ONE with the ride.
Just like a rollercoaster there is no middle ground you’re either excited or scared to death.

We are learning each day to love this life of the rollercoaster.