{The Rollercoaster}

We have all been there at one time or another, on a roller coaster as we are pulled up the chain driven track of the very first hill and over the intercom we hear.
“Ladies and Gentlemen please stay seated and keep all hands and arms inside the ride at all times until it comes to a complete stop.”

We reach the top and excitedly we put our hands up, take a deep breath and prepare for the exciting ride that lies ahead.
As a mother with a child who has many autistic behaviors life is like riding a rollercoaster. Exciting and scary all rolled into one.
The other night we ventured out to wish our extended family a safe journey as they were moving away, we didn’t even get into the door before Michael was clinging onto his daddy like we were going to box him up and send him on the moving truck with them.
Like a roller coaster that you have never been on before you never know which way it’s going to turn. One minute you are holding your hands up in the air smiling, screaming out of excitement, enjoying the ride, and the very next minute sometimes very next second you are hitting a sharp turn on the track you didn’t expect and scared beyond words.
We try to keep things predictable “the same” we have our daily routines.We hit the floor running when we hear “HELP! WET!” knowing that our precious has decided to wake up and has soaked through his jammies and bedding in the night, we have our medicine routine and let me tell you we hate that part it’s always a fight. Then we have play time that usually only lasts for about an hour before we start going into the first scary downhill drop on the roller coaster ride we call our day. After that we have to lay him down bottle in hand and put up a sign “ride closed for repair” as our morning nap is needed.

Running errands is NOT an option, not unless I want to be so emotionally exhausted by the end that I have nothing left to give. Christmas this year at Grandma’s is not going to happen as Michael is so terrified of the dog that he screams when he even sees the street she lives on.We want to be able to go Christmas shopping together but we can’t because it is all way to much for little Michael so I resort to online shopping otherwise the car de-rails and it takes days to repair the ride.
Needless to say just like a rollercoaster just as soon as you hit a hard left or right, you have a calm moment even still you are anticipating the next sudden drop or hard left.
Don’t get me wrong, the rollercoaster isn’t always a scary thing. It also can be so utterly exciting.
For example, when we are driving around at night during the holiday season and all of a sudden you hear from the back seat in the most excited tone ever imaginable, not to mention a word!, an actual word we never thought we would hear come out of Michael’s mouth, “LIGHT!!!!!” So loud and so full of excitement you jump. Or, a commercial comes on for a toy and you hear “WHAT’S THAT? WHAT’S THAT?” with his little hands rapidly doing the sign for “WANT” indicating that he wants the item for Christmas.

In those moments you can see and hear the excitement so much that it takes over and you yourself become just as excited about the light or the toy as he does. You become ONE with the ride.
Just like a rollercoaster there is no middle ground you’re either excited or scared to death.

We are learning each day to love this life of the rollercoaster.